7/8/2024
Synopsis: An asshole podcaster meets up with a psychopath who wants to turn him into a walrus.
The Good: Somewhere, over the many many years, Kevin Smith learned how to direct. This might be the best technical film he’s ever made. The premise is…upsetting but the skills of Michael Park, who is terrifying in a subtle way, Johnny Depp who is almost unrecognizable and Justin Long who looks more like Anthony Kiedis than Anthony does brought the whole thing to life. Also nice to see grown up Haley Joel Osment on screen. As far as horror movies go, not even close to the worst one I’ve ever seen.
The Bad: It’s a Kevin Smith film. You live and die by his bizarre style. This is a lot more like Red State (which was a legitimately great film) than Any of the Clerks reboots but it has a flavor that won’t suit everyone. I assume his daughter probably can act (See Student Body) but she comes off stiff and boring in all of his films including this one. More like a punchline than an actress.
Best Line: A Canadian doesn’t get sad. Sadness was made by the USA.’
Oh, come on. What does that mean?’
Take off, it’s true. Right there on our flag. It’s right there when you look at it. When you see past that sacred Maple Leaf, you know what you see?’
A white wall?’
You see that in America – you may be red, white and blue. But in Canada, you’re red, white, but never blue, eh?’
Fun Fact: Smith pitched the idea during a podcast episode.
Smith told his Twitter followers to tweet “#WalrusYes” if they wanted to see their hypothetical turned into a film, or “#WalrusNo” if they didn’t. A vast majority of Smith’s following agreed that the film should be made.
Verdict:
Technical: 6.8
Entertainment Value: 7.1
Genre Rating: 7
IMDb Score: 5.3
Total: 6.9
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